Bed of Roses
by rach0486
Summary: Jack finally does something about the Aschen, but Sam is there to stop him. CHAPTER 7 UP!
1. Bed of Roses

STARAGTE SG-1: Bed of Roses  
  
Summary: Jack thinks about the woman he loves (song fic)  
  
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Sam/Joe  
  
Spoilers: 2010, 2001.  
  
Season: Future (about 2006, after meeting the Aschen in 2001 - you'll see what I mean!)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate or its characters. Not do I own the Lyrics to 'Bed of Roses' by Bon Jovi. I'm not making any money off this, please don't sue me!!!  
  
Author's Note: OK, just a quick song fic to fill in the time between putting the next chapter up for Closure (don't worry, that won't be far away, nearly finished it!). Hope you like it! Please R&R as always. Thanx. Enjoy!  
  
Bed of Roses  
  
'Regulation': An authoritative rule dealing with procedure.  
A rule or order holding the force of law.  
  
That has to be the most hated word in my entire vocabulary. That, or 'sir'. It kept us apart for so long. Too long, in fact. But not now.  
  
Now, it's just me keeping us apart. And him, of course. But I couldn't blame her for choosing him. Not after what I put her - us - through. I know I want to have things different, but in all honesty, if I was given the chance, I don't know what I could do to change any of it. And do you wanna know why?  
  
REGULATINS!  
  
They were there from the start. We always knew that but it didn't stop me from loving her. And then he came along and I couldn't stop her from loving him.  
  
It was their wedding today and my last chance to convince her to listen to me. She doesn't know it, but I was there. I saw how beautiful she looked. How happy. I was going to say something to her. Try to open her eyes to the truth about the Aschen. Try to . I don't know . change her mind about him. But, as I said, regulations got in the way. Not military ones this time. Just personal ones that I put up to keep the integrity of the military ones in tact.  
  
Rule 1: Don't stop her from being happy.  
  
And although it pains me to admit it, she was happy today. With him. So I kept quiet. Slipped out of sight when she took his hand. I couldn't bare to hear her swear to love him forever.  
  
That's how I ended up here. At this god-forsaken, sorry excuse for a bar. It's not much; a pool table in the corner, juke box opposite me at the bar. It's not too loud or too crowded, but it's full of cigar smoke. Just right for drinking myself under the table or, hopefully, into oblivion. Knocking another shot back, a song roles over in the juke box that - for some reason - holds my attention.  
  
#Sitting here wasted and wounded at this old piano  
Trying hard to capture the moment this morning  
I don't know#  
  
The words set me thinking. 'Wasted and wounded'. That's me alright, but it's not the morning I'm trying to keep fixed in my mind. It's her. As she'll always be to me - perfect and as beautiful as she was today.  
  
#Cause a bottle of Vodka's still lodged in my head#  
  
Of course, thinking of her today reminds me of how far from being mine she is. That Vodka can stay lodged right where it is as far as I'm concerned. But I know it'll go eventually, and reality will come back hard.  
  
#And some blond gave me a nightmare; I think she's still in my bed  
As I dream about movies they won't make of me when I'm dead#  
  
What she's done to me is worse than a nightmare. Nightmares. You can wake up from. This is real. And she's really gone. And it's probably best for her. The last thing she needs is me holding her back. She shouldn't make a 'movie' of me - or any other type of memory. She has her life to live. I just wish I could let go so easily.  
  
#With an Ironclad fist I wake up to French kiss the morning#  
  
It's usually the other way around to that. The 'Ironclad fist' is what I wake up to. The harsh fact that I'm alone and nothing can change that. But she's there was I dream with French kisses and more.  
  
#While some marching band keeps its own beat in my head  
While we're talking  
About all the things I still long to believe  
About love, the truth and what you mean to me#  
  
My belief in love and the truth has certainly dwindled lately. I couldn't keep her even without the military hanging over us. And I couldn't make ANYONE see the truth of what the Aschen were doing. I know what she means to me, though. That's why it hurt so much when she shut me down and said 'Yes' to him.  
  
#And the truth is  
Baby, you're all that I need#  
  
And all I can't have. I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Ever. Not even with all the Vodka in Russia! That's the thought that finally drives me out of the bar and sends me home with a slight stagger in my step. But I still can't shake her from my thoughts. Or the song.  
  
#I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails#  
  
It's a cliché, I know, but it's more true to me than anything. I'm not just sleeping on nails. I eat and drink them, walk on them. Everything I do sends a stabbing pain through me. And it's all for her and her lack of faith in me. If only she had listened to me - or at least sided with me. Things would have been different.  
  
That's another hated phrase - 'If only'.  
  
#I want to be just as close as the holy Ghost is  
And lay you down on a bed of roses#  
  
That's all I ever wanted. To be with her. For a while, I let myself believe that's what she wanted too. Something more than just the friendship and respect between us. Maybe she did once. But it wasn't for me when it came down to the bottom line. It was him by then.  
  
#Well I'm so far away  
Each step that I take is on my way home#  
  
And yet I feel like I'll never be home again, especially when she's never going to be there. It's an eerie feeling knowing you've got to move on without someone.  
  
#A king's ransom in dimes I'd give  
Just to see through this payphone#  
  
I gave up that approach a few years back, when she stopped returning my calls. When she stopped listening to my pleas. If she ever listened in the first place. But I'd give anything to here her voice right now. Hear her tell me she did believe me. That she never doubted me. That's she's really working to undermine the Aschen. And once that's done, she's coming back to me.  
  
Well, a gut can dream, right?  
  
#Still I run out of time  
Or it's hard to get through#  
  
That's all I wanted. To get through. To her; to Daniel; to Janet; TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN! I even considered calling Maybourne into the fray! That's how desperate for recognition I was. But I have to take my share of the blame too. I was all too hasty in trusting everything to the Aschen. God! We were so naïve!  
  
#Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you  
I'll just close my eyes and whisper  
Baby, blind love is true#  
  
Whisper? SHOUT it from the heavens was more like it! But a whisper is all anyone heard from me, if they heard me at all. My love was always blind for her. She could take everything that I have - granted that's not a lot these days - and I'd still love her unconditionally and unashamedly.  
  
#And I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails  
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is  
And lay you down on a bed of roses#  
  
I arrive back home with no relent to my self-pitying mood. Only here, it's worse. Everything in the house reminds me of her. Books, pictures, even the beer in my fridge kicks up images of us celebrating earth's 'Salvation'. She wore red that day. Her lipstick stayed imprinted to the bottle every time she brought it to her lips.  
  
I run my fingers round the rim of my own beer, now - even though I know she has never touched it.  
  
#The hotel hangover whiskey's gone dry  
The bar keeper's wig's crooked  
And she's giving me the eye  
I might have said yes  
But I laugh till I cry#  
  
That's something no-one will ever take from me. The image of how she would look at me every so often. Just the odd flirtatious or understanding smile. Everything she could tell me with her eyes.  
  
There's one thing that keeps me going at the moment, and that's the fact that she had a 'look' that was for me alone. He will never have that. Never.  
  
#When you close your eyes  
Know I'll be thinking of you#  
  
I doubt she'll spare a moment for me now. And that's how it should be. She's got her own life to get on with.  
  
No matter how many times I say that to myself, it just doesn't sink in further than a throw away thought. And I can't close my eyes to bloke them out because that's exactly where she is for me now - just a series of images in my mind. I've turned her into a 'movie' and now she just plays all day.  
  
#While my mistress, she calls me  
To stand in her spotlight again  
Tonight I won't be alone  
But, you know, that don't mean I'm not lonely#  
  
It's a bittersweet comfort knowing how much your mind can fixate on something. I say bittersweet because sometimes it's torture to relive arguments to tender moments in the comfort of your own head. When that's all you've got left, though, you tend to cling to those sorts of things. Even the arguments. In my case, especially the arguments. That's when I knew she felt something for me. Whether it was love or revulsion doesn't matter. She felt it enough to fight me on it.  
  
#I've got nothing to prove  
For it's you I'd die to defend#  
  
She knew how I felt in the end. Knew I would walk through fire and take on the armies of hell for her. But in the end, it wasn't enough. She made her choice and now I have to live with that and without her.  
  
I only hope he cares for her half as much as I do. It's what she deserves after all.  
  
#I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails  
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is  
And lay you down.  
On a bed of Roses.#  
  
Goodbye Sam. I love you.  
  
********  
  
Author's Note: There you have it! Hope you enjoyed! I'll get back to Closure now. Chapter 2 coming soon . 


	2. The Beginning

STARGATE SG-1: Bed of roses  
  
Summary: It's Sam's turn to do some reflecting.  
  
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Sam/Joe  
  
Spoilers: 2010, 2001.  
  
Season: Future (about 2006, after meeting the Aschen in 2001).  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with the show! So don't sue me!!  
  
Author's Note: OK, well, I've decided to turn this into a series. This chapter's following Sam (and has nothing to do with the song used in chapter 1 - or any other song). Hope you enjoy it! I'd also like to say a big Thank you to the female apophis for all the help she gave me in thinking up the rest of this story. Couldn't have done it without you!! Please R&R as always. Thanx! Enjoy!  
  
Bed of roses: Chapter 2 - The Beginning.  
  
Have you ever read Wuthering Heights?  
  
I had to study it in 10th Grade for English. I never understood why Cathy married Edgar instead of Heathcliff. Why settle for nicety when you know such immense passion exists? And not only does it exist, but someone feels it for you!  
  
I worked it out last month. Heathcliff's passion was what drove Cathy over the edge. Edgar was the one who grounded her when all around her was chaos.  
  
I'm not saying I settled for Joe, or that Jack would have driven me mad. I'm just saying . . . well, put it this way. I'm content.  
  
It's a little over five years since this all began. We met the Aschen on P4C-970 and the whole team was in accord that this is what we'd been searching for all these years. They had everything: Technology, Medicine, Weapons, Knowledge. And they were willing to share it. How could we ever turn that down?  
  
So we jumped at the chance to save the planet. Jack said it himself: 'The Goa'uld are coming.' Apophis was about to launch his fleet. There was no way we could have defended against that.  
  
And so they saved us. And I've never looked back since. But something in Jack changed. He was paranoid, scared even. I'd never seen anything like it. One day he just seemed to flip, and everything was wrong to him.  
  
I remember, one day coming into my lab - when I still had a lab - and finding him sat there, looking like he'd seen a ghost.  
  
"Sir?" I asked. "What's wrong?"  
  
He didn't say anything for a moment. Just carried on staring at his hands.  
  
"D'you think we did the right thing?" he asked, seriously. It was strange. I'd never heard him sound so grave before.  
  
"Excuse me sir?" His tone had distracted me from his question and I wasn't quite following what he was asking.  
  
"The Aschen. Did we do the right thing trusting them?"  
  
I was even more taken aback by his response than I was to his initial question. We'd only met the Aschen six months ago and already we'd obliterated the Goa'uld and the scientific advancements I was learning from Mollem were amazing. How could he doubt what we were doing?  
  
"Of course we did, sir," I answered in all honesty.  
  
Jack seemed to flinch as I spoke. He shot me a tense, half smile as he stood up.  
  
"Just thought I'd check," he said leaving the room.  
  
Only a week later, he left the SGC.  
  
Part of me was delighted with his decision to leave. We both were, in fact. I even agreed to go out to dinner with him at one point - this was long before Joe and I were anywhere near being serious.  
  
It was a lovely restaurant that he took us to. Not at all what I expected of him. It was quiet, romantically lit and set about half way up one of the hills around Colorado Springs. From our table by the window, we could see Cheyenne Mountain. It looked fairly small from there, but that was the least of my concerns.  
  
As the evening drew on, I began to notice something in Jack. He grew quieter and more withdrawn as the time passed, until the point at which he was just sat staring blankly at the base.  
  
I observed him for a moment.  
  
"Do you remember the people we met on one of the Confederation Planets?" he asked, not taking his sight off the view in the window.  
  
I didn't say anything; just let him carrying his train of thought.  
  
"There was something about them that, I don't know . . . they just seemed a little subdued."  
  
I knew what he was talking about. The Taionian people had been fairly stoic as far as alien cultures go. Some of them even made Teal'c look animated but that, to me, was no cause for alarm. So what if they weren't so chatty as he was? Look at what the Aschen had achieved and they don't have much in the way of a sense of humour.  
  
"There was something about the way they looked at me," he said in an eerie monotone, that I usually associated with Teal'c. "I couldn't place it but it was like they were trying to tell me something."  
  
"Jack it was nothing. Don't worry about it," I said trying to reassure him, but he was having none of it.  
  
"I know what I saw!" he snapped, finally taking his eyes off the window and looking straight at me.  
  
"OK, so what was it?"  
  
Jack was still for a moment. He fixed my gaze in his, making sure he had my full attention before he continued. "Defeat," he said plainly.  
  
I was confused. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I don't know! But it's got to be something, right?" I could feel my forehead creasing as he continued.  
  
"I mean, how long had the Aschen been running that place? Ten years did they say? Why, if these were the great saviours everyone takes them to be, why would these people look so defeated? Wouldn't they be revelling in the fact that they had no more war or anything because of them?"  
  
I should have realised then that something wasn't right with him. But what can I say? I'd known him for so long now and what I felt for him made me think it was nothing. There was no way he'd let himself be so paranoid. I guess I was wrong about that.  
  
I seemed to lose contact with Jack for a while after that. With him retired and me still running around preparing to make the Stargate public knowledge to the world and break the news of the Aschen at the same time, it was almost impossible for me to find time to see him.  
  
That's when Joe started to take an interest in me - in a more personal way.  
  
It took a while for Joe to persuade me to take him up on his offer of dinner. Part of me was holding out for Jack. I suppose part of me always will be. But I did give in to Joe eventually.  
  
I initially went along because I felt sorry for the guy. I'd known him for eighteen months and in that time, I'd seen him just about every day around the base - what with him being the official earth representative in negotiations with the Aschen. And just about once a week he would ask me to join him for dinner.  
  
So, as you can imagine, his hope of me agreeing was dwindling when I finally caved.  
  
My first date with Joe was a completely different experience to my date with Jack. For one thing, he wasn't so cryptic about his views of the Aschen. In fact, the Aschen never came into the conversation. Joe was more interested in everywhere else I had been with SG-1. Once I got over my initial nerves of actually taking the first step to starting a new relationship, I felt much more relaxed in his company, but it took time.  
  
The one thing that really stays with me from that first date is Joe walking me home. He was just such a gentleman, in every respect.  
  
"I'm glad you finally took me up on my offer," he said through the slightly awkward silence as we walked through the town.  
  
"Me too," I answered. He could tell it was only half-hearted, though.  
  
I had enjoyed myself, yes, but there was something missing from the evening. That certain spark that made everything seem brighter and more vibrant. Made me feel more like myself.  
  
We drifted back into silence again as we kept walking. I kept wanting to say something to him. I wanted to assure him that I'd really had a wonderful time, but something held me back. Finally we reached my house and I couldn't put it off any longer.  
  
"Joe," I started, but he stopped me.  
  
"Sam, I know that you don't feel much for me, more than friendship, I mean. But I want you to know that'll never change what I feel for you. If you don't want to pursue this any further than tonight, I understand, so don't feel pressured into anything you don't want." He paused for a moment before carrying on. "Having said that, I would like to take you out again, Saturday night."  
  
An involuntary smile spread across my lips as he finished. There was something in what he said (that to this day I haven't been able to pin down) that made me care for him that extra bit more. It wasn't the explosive spark I was looking for, but it was enough.  
  
"I'd like that very much," I replied, still smiling like a teenager on her first ever date.  
  
It didn't take long after that for us to become more serious in our relationship, but I still wasn't fully 'There' for some reason.  
  
Jack was still holding me back. Still holding onto my heart and not letting go. And it was a long time before I would let him. Just over two years to be exact.  
  
******  
  
Author's Note: There it is! Let me know what you think of it. There is more to come, so watch this space! 


	3. The Listeners

STARGATE SG-1: Bed of Roses  
  
Summary: Jack decides self-pity will get him nowhere.  
  
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Sam/Joe  
  
Spoilers: 2010, 2001  
  
Season: Future (about 2006, after meeting the Aschen in 2001)  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing and am therefore receiving nothing for this little venture!  
  
Author's Note: Hope you're still enjoying the story! This chapter is back to Jack's story (continuing straight on from chapter 1). Hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to R&R as always! Thanx! Enjoy! (ps - sorry if some of this is a little too like 2001).  
  
Bed of Roses: Chapter 3 - The Listeners  
  
'Is anybody there!' said the traveller,  
Knocking on the moonlit door.  
  
*  
  
Jack awoke the next day, feeling like he had an anvil lodged in his cranium. As always, his waking thoughts were of her - his unattainable goddess.  
  
It amazed him, after all the two of them had been through, that he felt so passionately towards her. After all the hurt of being ignored by her and then when she did take notice of him, it was to tell him to shut up. How could he love someone like that? . . .  
  
It was no use. He couldn't paint her as the monster. She was just following orders and being on the inside of the organisation (the Aschen that is), made it damn near impossible for her to see what was happening. That's what made him even more angry with the Aschen. The fact they had 'brainwashed' her (for want of a better phrase).  
  
Of course, he didn't fully know what it was they were up to yet. He just knew it was something. Even though it had been six years, he couldn't shake the look of powerlessness and defeat in the eyes of the Taionian people. They lived in a thriving Metropolis for cryin' out loud! It had been seriously unnerving seeing them. But he seemed to be the only who noticed it, or took note of it at least. He would have given anything to have been able to talk to one of them and maybe then he would be able to convince everyone else that the Aschen were up to no good.  
  
Unfortunately, there was no way jack would be able to get to the Stargate - the only heavily defended place left in the world.  
  
Carefully holding his head so not to let his brain suddenly lurch in it's place, Jack hauled himself out of bed and staggered to the shower. His throbbing head began to subside later as he made his way about the house - getting dressed, fixing breakfast, downing several cups of very black, unsweetened coffee.  
  
By lunchtime, he was beginning to feel like something that vaguely resembled a human being.  
  
He hated retirement more than he could describe. It just wasn't good at all for his over active imagination. And now it was worse than before. Now he knew her and he knew of all the things he would never again share with her. He still cursed himself for that. He might as well have thrown her at Joe. And now the two of them were off honeymooning together; sharing all the joys that Jack wished he could have had with her.  
  
But she had made her bed and she had to sleep in it - with Joe. Not Jack.  
  
The only problem was, he still loved her. Part of him - the part that still remembered what it was like before they came along - wanted to be happy for her. She was clearly happy with Joe, so he shouldn't try to get in her way. But the years had changed him somewhat. And there was no way of getting back the 'old Jack' that wouldn't have minded so much.  
  
Of course, not all of the 'old Jack' was dead. He still held the non- defeatist attitude that had kept him going all these years. It had been somewhat suppressed of late, what with all that had gone on with the Aschen and the way his cataclysmic relationship with Sam had come to a spearhead the last time he saw her - going on for two years now.  
  
But now, seeing her married like that, to her 'dearly beloved Ambassador', there was an in-suppressible rage within Jack that screamed for him to do something - ANYTHING! Not necessarily to get her back, but at least claim back what was left of her future before the Aschen screwed it up with whatever plan they had going. She deserved that from him at least. He didn't care if she never set eyes on him again, just as long as he could guarantee her eternal happiness. If that happened to include him, then so be it. But experience had taught him not to push that. It wasn't what she needed.  
  
Jack's fighting spirit began to reignite even further as the day progressed and his hangover dwindled; as he thought more and more about what he owed Sam for his treatment of her two years ago.  
  
Finally, he was resolved. Something had to be done.  
  
*  
  
But only a host of phantom Listeners  
That dwelt in the lone house then  
Stood listening in the quiet of the moonlight  
To that voice from the world of men.  
  
*  
  
All things considered, it had been fairly easy for Jack to be granted an audience with the President. Mind you, up until that point, most of Jack's protests against the Aschen had been in private (apart from the outburst two years ago, but that incident clearly hadn't reached the ears of the President - thank goodness).  
  
For the first time in a few years, Jack was back in his dress blues and actually looking half respectable. He was also clean shaven for the first time in a few days too. He sat fiddling with his hat, outside the Oval Office, waiting to be permitted entrance. It always surprised Jack how nervous he got when he was required to use diplomacy. Especially when his opponent was the one person (besides Joe Faxon) that could really mess with his head and send diplomacy packing and leave him searching for a gun!  
  
"The President will see you now," the secretary said, showing Jack the way into the office. He stopped just inside the door - far enough in for the door to be closed but not far enough to show politeness.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill," the President said cordially from behind his desk.  
  
"Kinsey," Jack replied through gritted teeth. Of all the people in all the world - universe, even - there was only one person he could think of that could make his situation even worse - that was Maybourne.  
  
But he was here now. And he had to do this.  
  
"Please. Take a seat," Kinsey offered, moving towards one of the armchairs in the middle of the room.  
  
Silently, Jack followed suit, still hating the fact that he was here at all.  
  
'You're doing for her!' he kept reminding himself. Even though she was off honeymooning, right now, with another man, he was doing all this for her.  
  
Kinsey waited for Jack to be seated, a slightly inane grin on his face the while time.  
  
"Well, well," he said eventually, with more than a hint of ironic humour in his voice. "Colonel O'Neill. I don't believe I've seen you since you left the SGC."  
  
Jack didn't say anything.  
  
"You know, I've been meaning to thank you," he continued. "If you and your team hadn't met the Aschen, I never would have been voted President. Funny how the world works; isn't it?"  
  
Jack still remained silent, finding it harder and harder to swallow his pride.  
  
"So, what can I do for you?"  
  
Jack looked up at him for a moment. But sharply looked away again, repulsed by the mock-friendly look in Kinsey's eyes. He mumbled something intangible in response to the question.  
  
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Kinsey demanded, revelling in the power he had over the situation.  
  
"I said," Jack said more confidently. "I need your help."  
  
Kinsey burst out into a manic, raucous laugh that pierced Jack's ears like daggers driving into the very centre of his being.  
  
"Oh lord!" Kinsey said through increasingly sporadic peels of laughter. "I wish I could've got that on video! Jack O'Neill asking me for help?! That's just made my day!"  
  
He continued to laugh, ignoring the pained expression on Jack's face as he felt himself sink to an all-time low.  
  
"So what is it that I can help you with?" Kinsey asked once he had regained his composure.  
  
"It's the Aschen," Jack said plainly.  
  
"What?!" Kinsey clearly had his doubts about what Jack was bout to say.  
  
"They're up to something."  
  
Kinsey rolled his eyes. "Oh here was go," he said under his breath, not quite loud enough for Jack to fully hear.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I wondered how long it'd be before you changed you mind. Granted I thought closer to six months than six years, but . . ."  
  
Jack began to feel frustrated with his 'Commander and Chief'. "Change my mind?"  
  
"Yeah," Kinsey said, denying Jack the chance to lay into him at this point. "You know. Realise you couldn't play the hero anymore so plotter against the Aschen."  
  
"That's not why I'm here!" Jack bellowed.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really! . . . I swear to God Kinsey! Something's not right here."  
  
Kinsey smiled ever so slightly again. Knowing exactly where to strike to cause the most damage.  
  
"So why let it get this far?" he asked maliciously. "Heck! Why support them at all? I seem to remember you were just as enthusiastic about the rest of your team."  
  
Jack looked down at his hands. "Well, I was wrong," he said quietly.  
  
"So why wait six year?" Kinsey knew this was all crippling Jack's pride to admit everything like this and was thoroughly enjoying every minute of it.  
  
"I didn't have any proof," Jack admitted, in the same hushed tone.  
  
"Oh, and you do now?"  
  
". . . No."  
  
Kinsey allowed himself a larger smile. "Unbelievable!"  
  
"Kinsey! They're taking over everything!" Jack was beginning to sound desperate, even to himself.  
  
"Oh please! Of all the paranoid Bull I've heard! . . ." Kinsey paused in his attack, to fully hold his power over Jack. "Tell me Colonel. Just how long did you spend in the Black Opps? 'Cause it was too long, if you ask me!"  
  
"You think I'm paranoid?!" Jack said indignantly. "Just how many laws have you passed without the approval of an Aschen delegate?"  
  
Kinsey paused before answering, causing Jack to think he was in with a chance of persuading him onto his side. "That's standard policy. We share everything with everyone these days," he finally answered, completely taking the wind out of Jack's sales.  
  
Jack's shoulders sagged slightly. "Why am I the only one who sees this?"  
  
Kinsey laughed again. "Because you're the only one who wants to see anything, Jack!" He turned around and switched the TV screen on to CNN. "Look. There's no war. No hunger. No disaster that can't be solved in a heart beat. How do you see these people as a threat?"  
  
"You said it yourself," Jack said, smiling stiffly. "I'm the only one who wants to see it. The rest of you are just too wrapped up in the benefits to see the bigger picture!" His tone had risen considerably, so he was almost shouting again.  
  
Kinsey sat back down, shaking his head and chuckling slightly to himself. "I can't believe what I'm hearing."  
  
"Kinsey, please listen to me!" Jack pleaded.  
  
Kinsey's face suddenly fell and was as serious as Jack had ever seen it. "Oh. I think I've heard enough!" He pushed a button on the phone beside him, prompting his secretary and two secret service agents to appear in the doorway to the office.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill will be leaving us now. Please escort him back to his vehicle."  
  
Jack stood before the secret service men could move to him. "You're making a mistake! This won't last forever!" He felt two large hands on his shoulders, but he didn't move from the spot he was standing on. "And I swear to God, it'll come crashing down on you head!"  
  
Kinsey raised his eyebrows. "Is that a threat, Colonel?"  
  
"No," Jack said plainly. "It's a promise!"  
  
Kinsey shook his head in disbelief. "Get him out of here!" he ordered.  
  
Jack felt himself being moved off towards the door. As much as he tried to resist, he kept on going. Powerless against the strength of the goons holding on to him.  
  
"This isn't the last of this!" he shouted, determined to have the last word. "You don't see what they're doing! None of you do!"  
  
The door closed in front of him.  
  
*  
  
'Tell them I came! And no-one answered,  
That I kept my word,' he said.  
Never the least stir made the Listeners,  
Though every word her spake,  
Fell echoing through the shadowiness of the still house  
From the one man left awake.  
Ay, they heard his foot upon the stirrup,  
And the sound of iron on stone,  
And how the silence surged softly backward,  
When the plunging hoofs were gone.  
  
*****  
  
Author's Note: So, that was chapter 3! Chapter 4 will be up shortly (I hope!). REALLY looking forward to writing that one actually! Anyway! Review! Thanx. 


	4. Passion

STARGATE SG-1: Bed of Roses  
  
Summary: Sam continues to think over the last six years.  
  
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Sam/Joe.  
  
Spoilers: 2010, 2001.  
  
Season: Future (about 2006, I think you get the idea by now!).  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah, I think we get the idea! I don't own any of it!  
  
Author's Note: Ever since The Female Apophis persuaded me to carry this into a series, I've really been looking forward to writing this chapter! (So it's all her fault! – Thanx a lot!). It's back to Sam's story (continuing from Chapter 2 – as I'm sure you'll be able to figure out!). Thanx for the reviews so far! Please R&R as always. Thanx! Enjoy!  
  
Warning: REALLY STRONG LANGUAGE towards the end! (Plus some 'adult' situations).  
  
Bed of Roses: Chapter 4 – Passion  
  
2004 was quite possibly one of the most harrowing years I've had to live through. Or one day of it was at least. But it was a day that will never, ever diminish in my mind. For several reasons.  
  
The day of Hammond's funeral was when things started to flair, really.  
  
All things considered, it had been quite a quiet burial out at Arlington. Nothing like the kind of 'Grand send off' a lot of the high-class Generals get. But it was what Hammond would have wanted. Just close friends and family bidding fair well to him. Even Jack managed to crawl out from whatever rock he had been hiding under to attend. And that was part of the problems that started up that day. Jack came around shooting his mouth off about God only knows what and practically turned the wake into a brawl.  
  
That's where it really started. At the wake.  
  
Joe and I had just arrived as Daniel was finishing his speech. We had been delayed by my father who I rarely see these days. He wanted some time to catch up so we hung back for a while.  
  
Anyway, the 'party' was in full swing when we got there and everyone was busy helping themselves to the finger buffet that had been laid out. Up to that point, I hadn't seen Jack since I started dating Joe. I was almost surprised to see him at the cemetery at all, in fact. Yes, I expected him to be there – there was no way he would miss it. But I didn't expect to SEE him. After the way he just faded into the background two years ago, no-one had really had much – if any – contact with him. He had just completely shut himself off to everything and everyone (or so I thought).  
  
After barely glimpsing him at the cemetery, I expected he would just take off. Again, he surprised me, because there he stood talking with the rest of SG-1 (as we had been) and Janet.  
  
I wouldn't say it was like old times because, in so many ways, it wasn't. For one, Hammond wasn't around. And secondly, Jack himself seemed different to me. Subdued perhaps. I couldn't quite place it then, but time had changed him. Etched their years of experience into the lines on his face, making him appear sadder and colder than I had seen him look before. The sight of him chilled me.  
  
But then he looked across at me, his chocolate brown eyes catching mine. He smiled. But it wasn't his usual smile that set fire to the room with its warmth and energy. It was, like the rest of him, subdued, defeated almost. But it was reassuring and a comfort to me. That after all this time, there was still a small part of that spark left between us. Of course, knowing now what I didn't then about what was about to transpire, I wish that there had been nothing but cold hard feelings between us. That, at least, would make living with it bearable.  
  
Before I knew what was going on, Joe guided me over to where my former team mates stood. I saw the smile fall from Jack's face as he observed me being guided towards the group by Joe – his hand on the small of my back (as Jack used to do).  
  
The cold sad expression had returned to his features, mixed now with the beginnings of anger just showing a slight, menacing glimmer at the edge of his eyes. By the time we reached him, his jaw was set rigidly in place. I was struck be a strong pang of irrational guilt when I saw this new expression. It felt almost as if I was cheating on Jack, even though – as a couple – we had never progressed much further than strictly plutonic. Although my mind would tell you otherwise.  
  
Our eyes locked once more and a tense smile forced itself across his lips in acknowledgment of my presence. I could only return the gesture with a similar smile – mine more out of nerves and awkwardness than malice and disappointment. My eyes quickly searched for something – anything! – else to fix their gaze on, but stubbornly, they kept finding their way back to him, as if magnetically drawn there.  
  
Luckily for me, Joe missed the entire exchange while he greeted the rest of the group.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill," Joe said amiably, looping his arm around my waist. "It's been a long time. It's good to see you." He offered his hand to Jack in greeting.  
  
"Ambassador," Jack replied tersely, refusing Joe's peaceful gesture.  
  
I felt my cheeks begin to flush with a slight anger towards him. An anger that must have reflected itself in my eyes, as Jack shot me a look as if to say; 'Hey, I'm here. I'm being civil. Don't expect more than that.'  
  
I swallowed hard, choking back down my pride that was bubbling away from me as my frustration towards Jack grew with everyone of his 'civil' gestures.  
  
Janet noticed the tension between the three of us.  
  
"Well," she said moving the conversation on quickly. "To General Hammond."  
  
We all raised our glasses into the middle of the circle we had made, but I could feel Jack's hateful eyes completely stationery on me the whole time. I hazarded a glance at him and, sure enough, my gaze was met by his hard set brown eyes.  
  
For a second, my breath caught in my throat. In his eyes, there was reason behind his anger that looked on me almost pityingly. Or if it wasn't pity, it was something even more alarming to me. Love perhaps. I don't know. But it wasn't just contempt for Joe, whatever it was. Maybe there was more to that spark than I thought. God! I'd have given anything to have been able to read his mind then.  
  
I quickly took a large gulp of my champagne before my rampant mind could dwell further on his eyes.  
  
There was an awkward silence around the group once more.  
  
Daniel, Teal'c and Janet exchanged a look for a moment; debating silently how quickly they could get away from Joe, Jack and me before the tension reached critical point. They could clearly see the venomous glances Jack was firing at Joe, even if I couldn't in my search for anything else to talk about.  
  
Luckily for them, Janet was a quick thinker.  
  
"Teal'c," she said turning to the Jaffa. "Aren't you scheduled to return to Chulak soon?"  
  
"Indeed," Teal'c replied politely.  
  
"Oh, well, we'll walk you to the terminal," Daniel added.  
  
The three of them soon moved off. I was actually surprised they didn't run. Of course, this just left the three of us.  
  
"As I said, Colonel," Joe ventured, trying to make conversation. "It's good to see you after –"  
  
"Ah, cut the crap, Ambassador!" jack interrupted. "I'm not here for the company, and you know it."  
  
And here it comes, I thought to myself, well aware of the torrent of insults and accusations about to some streaming out of both men.  
  
"Well I hardly think it necessary for that sort of tone," Joe said, trying his best to remain polite under the circumstances.  
  
Jack laughed out loud at his remark. "Jesus, Carter! You actually sleep with this guy!"  
  
"HEY! You leave her out of this!" Joe stepped slightly in front of me, as if shielding me from a pack of hungry wolves. "This has nothing to do with Sam!"  
  
"You're wrong there, pal! This has everything to do with Sam, and you, and everyone else here for that matter!"  
  
I couldn't believe it! After all this time, he was still on about that!  
  
Of course, Joe still had no idea of what he was talking about. The expression on his face conveyed that. So Jack elaborated.  
  
"Look around, Ambassador," he said maliciously. "Just how long do you think it'll be before the Aschen have completely taken over everything?"  
  
"That's not what they're doing," Joe said defensively. He had heard about Jack's paranoia – mainly from me – but had been convinced that time would settle his mind. Clearly, it hadn't.  
  
their conversation continued, growing in intensity, anger and volume. I glanced around me. Several pairs of eyes in the room (including all of the Aschen delegates present) were turning their attention to the feuding men.  
  
"Look," I said trying to come between them, "this really isn't the best place for this."  
  
"You stay out of this!" Jack snapped as he verbally laid further and further into Joe.  
  
Joe was instantly incensed. "Don't you ever talk to her like that!"  
  
To my surprise, Jack instantly erupted into laughter. I used to love hearing him laugh, it was such a genuine sound and a great comfort whenever I heard it. But not now. Now, it was hollow, jealous and bitter. It reminded me of the paranoia and cynicism he had descended to since I had seen him last. It made me pity him – that's what was surprising about it.  
  
"You think I give a damn about how I talk to her? Or you for that matter," he questioned, the bitterness slicing through every word he uttered. "You really think I care? I was her CO, for Christ's sake!"  
  
Joe stood rigid for a moment. "As her CO, I would have thought you would appreciate how she ought to be treated!"  
  
I was aware that everyone in the room was utterly fixated on the argument I was caught in the middle of. It was all I could do to try and shut everyone out and pray Jack and Joe calmed down soon. Unfortunately, as Teal'c would put it, things were only going to 'calm up' from here.  
  
"How dare you lecture me on my team!" Jack was saying in response to a comment I hadn't heard.  
  
"Yeah, well it seems to me you could use a few pointers!" Joe retorted.  
  
That was the last straw, so to speak. Before I could do anything to apprehend him, Jack struck out wildly at Joe, catching him squarely on the jaw. He was sent staggering backwards, but managed to maintain his balance. A horrified gasp rippled in perfect unison through the room from the captive audience we had drawn.  
  
Joe pulled himself back up straight and tall, a thin crimson line forming its way from the corner of his mouth down his chin. He absent-mindedly cleared the blood away and began pacing forward for a retaliation attempt.  
  
"Joe! No!" I said stepping in front of Jack. The two men were staring through me at each other, just spoiling for a fight. "He's not worth it." I placed my hands on his shoulders in an effort to draw his attention away from Jack.  
  
"He's not worth it," I repeated, kissing him tenderly on the lips (that made Jack that tiny bit madder).  
  
Joe's attention switched between me and Joe for a moment, as I silently pleaded for him to drop it. "I'll be outside," he said finally.  
  
He walked past us both, deliberately catching Jack on the shoulder on the way. Once he was gone. The whole room seemed to sigh in relief of the tension that had built up.  
  
Jack let out an amused half laughed. "Obviously not quite got him house- trained yet, eh Carter?"  
  
Before I could control myself, I turned around, took hold of Jack by his coat and dragged him through the gathered mourners to a separate room in the house. The door slammed shut behind us.  
  
"What?" jack protested as I locked the door.  
  
Once I was sure we wouldn't be disturbed, I turned to confront him. There was a moment's pause while I thought of what the hell I was meant to do now, and Jack waited for something to be said.  
  
Eventually, he decided to take the initiative. "So, you drag me in here for a quick screw, or what?" he quipped.  
  
In much the same fashion that Jack had launched at Joe, I swing at Jack. He fell back from the force of the blow and landed, rather haphazardly on the bed behind him.  
  
"I guess not then," he said in response to his own quip.  
  
"You've got a damn nerve, you really do!" I said. My voice a great deal higher than I would have liked and not to steady either. I could feel my whole body shaking from pent up aggression and rage towards the man in front of me. And what was worse was I could feel I was on the brink of tears. Damnit! Why did I let him get to me like this?!  
  
I tried to maintain my composure that as rapidly slipping away from me.  
  
"Five years without so much as a phone call and now you show up here and lay into Joe like that! Just who the HELL do you think you are?!"  
  
Jack was sat on the bed massaging his bruised jaw. He stayed silent, even after I stopped shouting. It was something I couldn't bare then.  
  
"Answer me!" I bellowed.  
  
"Did you take it?" he said quietly.  
  
"What?" I said on a breath. I was that wound up, I couldn't even question him properly.  
  
"The Anti-aging Vaccine!" he said standing up. "Sam! Did you take the Anti-aging Vaccine?!"  
  
I was confused. No, I was more than confused. I was down-right clueless to what he was going on about, and he could see it in my expression. He crossed the room to me and – towering above me as he often did – he took my face in his hands.  
  
"Did you take the Vaccine?" he asked calmly. In fact, his voice was so soothing, it was very nearly disarming.  
  
I blinked for a moment, lost in the sensation of his strong, warm hands surrounding my head. His fingers gently teasing into my hairline.  
  
"Yes," I said eventually, pulling myself back to reality. "Everyone took it."  
  
His hands suddenly fell from around me. At the same time, he hung his head and his shoulders sagged. He turned his back on me. I heard a heavy, tired sigh emit from his lips as he shoved his hands through his rapidly greying hair.  
  
"SHIT!" he suddenly shouted, punching the wall nearest to him.  
  
He really wasn't helping my confusion.  
  
"Jack, what's going on?" I asked, trying to get him to elaborate on his cryptic question.  
  
He took a few moments while he calmed down a bit before he answered. "General Hammond called me a few nights ago. Said there was something not right with the Anti-aging Vaccine. That he needed my help."  
  
"So what was wrong?" I was sceptical to say the least.  
  
"He wouldn't say over the phone. He said he had to call Fraiser too and he wanted to meet us both to discuss action. We were supposed to meet up today."  
  
What could I say to that? Janet hadn't said anything about talking to Hammond before he died. And the Anti-aging Vaccine had been administrated a few years ago, with no negative side-effects in anyone in the whole country – heck! The world!  
  
I looked at him dubiously for a moment.  
  
"You don't believe me!" he said accusingly.  
  
He was right. I didn't. I hated being the one to admit it, but before he left, his behaviour had been bordering on CHRONIC paranoia (never mind minor). Maybe he had just spent too many years in the Black Opps and stayed up too many nights, of late, drinking beer and watching Conspiracy Theory programmes about world cover-ups and such like.  
  
"I don't believe this!" he said throwing his hands up in defeat. "Of all the people –" he stopped short and shot me a look that was somewhere between pity, desperation and dismay.  
  
"Well, c'mon! It is a lot to ask me to believe!" I said in my defence.  
  
"This from the woman who used to travel half way across the galaxy on a daily basis?"  
  
"That was different!"  
  
"Why? Because you had proof then?"  
  
"Exactly! You got any proof at all to back this up?"  
  
"I've got my gut feeling. That used to be enough for you. You used to trust me."  
  
"I used to do a lot of things, Jack. But times change."  
  
"Evidently."  
  
There was a pause for a moment while he studied my face, trying to find some glimmer of hope in it that he could latch onto. But there was none. I simply couldn't accept it.  
  
"Sam, please!" he begged. "They're taking over everything!"  
  
I stood back for a moment. "You know, I'd expect this sort of narrow- minded, non-tolerance attitude from someone like Kinsey, not you."  
  
"And I never expected you could be so blind to what's happening here!"  
  
"Blind?" I repeated. "Jack, they saved our lives! Our RACE, for crying out loud! And now you're turning on them?! It's insane!"  
  
"No!" he shouted. "What's insane is the way the rest of you carry on! You just don't get it do you?"  
  
"THERE'S NOTHING TO GET!"  
  
Jack shook his head in disgust. "Maybe that's what the Vaccine does," he said to no-one in particular. "Maybe it takes perfectly intelligent people and turns them into complete MORONS! Don't you see? They're controlling your mind!"  
  
I'd had enough. It was becoming painful for me to watch what he had become. I shook my head in pity for him as I backed away towards the door.  
  
"Sam, please just listen to me," he pleaded.  
  
Tears rose again in my throat. I couldn't believe him. Any of it. What he was saying was beyond any paranoia that I had witnessed before. And the way he said it too ... ... ... it really, truly hurt me to see him reduced to this. And it angered me that he would try to take this out on me and on the Aschen.  
  
"Don't do this," he said as I kept retreating. "You're gonna regret it, I swear to God, Sam! Just ask Joe. You can bet he has something to do with it!"  
  
That was it. My anger finally out weighed my pity for him.  
  
"Oh, fuck you, Jack!" With that, I unlocked the door and left hoping never to see him again.  
  
Joe was still waiting outside when I got there. Thankfully, he had cooled off, somewhat.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry," he said trying to justify himself. But there was no need.  
  
I took his hand, reassuring him that I didn't blame him for what had happened.  
  
"Take me home?" I asked quietly. It was all I could say without bursting into tears at this point.  
  
On the journey home, my temper began to dwindle as well. And I thought – wished – that would be the last of it.  
  
But it wasn't.  
  
Half of me wishes that Joe had stayed at my house that night. But something urged me to turn him away. I made some excuse about needing to clear my head after losing Hammond so quickly. Joe – being the gentleman that he is – was willing to comply.  
  
Later that night, though, Jack came to me for what I thought would be round two. In fact, it was round one ... ... ... of a whole different game.  
  
I was defenceless. There's no other way to describe it. From the moment I opened the door and saw him there to the moment we ... ... ... I was just defenceless. We couldn't fight anyone. That had all been done at the wake. Now, what was left was an undeniable want for each other. He needn't have said anything. There was a look in his eyes that I understood as his apology for everything. And I accepted it.  
  
As soon as the door closed, we both seemed to shut out the heartache we had caused each other over the last few years.  
  
So there we were, in my hallway, with no outstanding grudges and – more importantly – no regulations.  
  
Without a moment's notice, he dropped to his knees and encircled his arms about my waist. His lips pressed against my stomach, through the fabric of my shirt. My hands instinctively made their way through his hair, until the torturous sensation of his embrace became unbearable and I wanted more.  
  
I lifted his head, and in turn he stood up again, taking my gesture as the welcome he had desired.  
  
That's when he kissed me.  
  
Long, deep and full of the passion, lust and love that was mingling around us and inside us. He soon swept me off my feet – literally! – and carried me upstairs.  
  
I guess there was more of our spark left that night than I thought.  
  
And, by God, did it burn!  
  
*****  
  
Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to get this posted. I got stuck on the arguments. The next part (of this and Closure) might take a while as well, cos I've got a lot of coursework to do, but I'll try my best. Right! Now, please review! Thanx! 


	5. Please Forgive Me

STARGATE SG-1: Bed of Roses  
  
Summary: Jack realises he is on his own and has to take matters into his own hands.  
  
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Sam/Joe  
  
Spoilers: 2010, 2001  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it!  
  
Author's Note: Sooooo sorry this took so long to post; coursework will do that to you sometimes! Anyway, thanx to everyone who's reviewed so far and especially to Cathain for suggesting the song for this chapter. Please R&R as always. Thanx. Enjoy!  
  
Bed of Roses: Chapter 5 – Please Forgive Me  
  
Jack slammed the door shut behind him with so much force that all the windows in his house shook. He was so far past irate, though, that he didn't care.  
  
Why was everyone so blind?! Something wasn't right with the Aschen, and he was damn well going to find out what it was.  
  
His only problem was, he didn't have much to go on. All Hammond had said on the phone two years ago was that he had been right all along and that it was the Anti-Aging Vaccine.  
  
Though, exactly what was the Anti-Aging Vaccine had remained a mystery, as the phone line had been cut off and the next day, Hammond was dead.  
  
Jack had known there and then that something had to be done, but he'd left it. He had to. There was no way he could have launched his Anti-Aschen campaign again then – not after the way he had treated her.  
  
The night after Hammond's funeral was still the main focus of Jack's unconscious wanderings each night – and a good few of his waking hours too. Although, during the day, he tended to fixate on how much of an idiot he had been the next morning. It was no wonder she had married Joe!  
  
Thinking about it, he would have been surprised if she ever forgave him at all for what he did to her. And in his mind, he didn't deserve her forgiveness. He didn't even deserve the memory of that night with her.  
  
But then, that added to his torture – knowing what his life could have been like with her and knowing how quickly and foolishly he had thrown it away.  
  
The silence in his house drifted even more eerily through him than it usually did these days. Ever since her wedding day, the whole place seemed to throb of emptiness. It was unbearable to him. And after several shots of whisky failed to deaden his senses to it, he flicked the radio on, hoping to find some sort of solace in the life it would give to his deprived senses.  
  
In reality, its effects were the opposite. Seconds after the small black device had found a station, the lyrics it called out tortured Jack even further.  
  
Please forgive me  
I know not what I do  
Please forgive me  
I can't stop lovin' you  
Don't deny me  
This pain I'm goin' through  
Please forgive me  
I can't stop lovin' you  
  
Before he was fully aware of what he was doing, Jack ripped the radio out of its mooring in the wall and hurled it at the opposite side of the room. The second it hit the wall, it shattered into hundreds of pieces – shards of jagged plastic and metal scattered on the floor and over the furniture.  
  
Jack shoved his hands through his hair and tried to breathe steadily, but he couldn't help his heart beat from quickening with uncontrollable rage.  
  
Rae at everyone for not listening. Rage at Sam for shutting him down. But mainly rage at himself for letting her go.  
  
He began to pace about the living room, becoming more and more riled up as the seconds ticked by in his once again silent house. For a split second, he caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the window. It was only faint, but it was enough.  
  
He was still in his Air Force dress uniform – just as neat and tidy as it had been when the SGC was in full operation. It was a small reminder of the man he had been – the calm and collected, though somewhat glib Air Force Colonel who saved the world on a regular basis.  
  
His face, on the other hand, told a different story.  
  
It was etched with hard, aging lines that hardened his features and gave away the truly crippling nature of his experiences. His eyes were dull and no longer held the mischievous glint that he was so characteristically known for.  
  
He wasn't fooling anyone – least of all himself. His clothes may have stayed the same, but he was so far altered from the man he was, that he barely recognised himself.  
  
Finally, he broke and was engulfed by a wave of anger and shame.  
  
All of a sudden, he didn't care about anything anymore. He picked up the nearest chair and hurled it at the window, shattering his reflection. His heart rate quickened once again as his anger grew.  
  
Finding the only release he could, Jack soon found himself hurtling any piece of furniture he could around his living room. Within minutes, the whole room was wrecked beyond recognition.  
  
The only item of furniture that remained in tact was the coffee table with its single picture on top of it. As tears of frustration began to tumble down Jack's face, he lited on the picture and was stopped in his tracks.  
  
It was a picture of SG-1, in better times (everything seemed like a better time these days – even Iraq). Jack's main focus was on the image of Sam in the photo. She was smiling at something Daniel had said – that much he remembered. And in the instant the photo had been taken, she had caught his eye and they had shared one of their brief moments of recognition, as they so often did.  
  
Cautiously, as if it would crumble all of a sudden, Jack picked up the picture and traced his finger down Sam's face.  
  
In the two years of his isolation, he had forgotten just how beautiful she was – until he saw her at her wedding that is. But seeing her as she was then seemed to pull him back to reality.  
  
He realised she couldn't be his – he'd known this for a long time now but was only now coming to terms with the fact. He knew, as well, that the future she hoped to have without him wasn't going to be much of a future if things carried on as they were. And even though he wasn't included in her future, he couldn't sit by and watch them throw her life away.  
  
Whether she forgave him or not, he had to do something. Even if that cost him everything he had left. Which, without her, wasn't much at all.  
  
*******  
  
Author's Note: If that seems a little short, then don't worry, because it's really just a 'stepping stone' chapter before Chapter 7. I can guarantee that Chapter 6 will be much longer, as there's a lot to get into that one... should be fun to write too!!! Anyway, enough of me! Time for you to REVIEW! 


	6. Nicety

STARGATE SG-1: Bed of Roses  
  
Summary: The morning after. But it's not all sweetness and light...  
  
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Sam/Joe  
  
Season: Future (2006)  
  
Spoilers: 2010, 2001  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or a Streetcar Named Desire. Please don't sue me!  
  
Author's Note: I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT THIS CHAPTER! Just read it! And then review, of course! Thanx. Enjoy!  
  
Bed of Roses: Chapter 6 – Nicety  
  
"There are things that happen between a man and a woman in the dark that  
sort of make everything seem unimportant."  
- Stella, Scene 4, 'A Streetcar Named Desire.

###

You'd think that after an incredible night like that – and it WAS incredible – that we'd be able to work something out wouldn't you?  
  
But clearly, we didn't. In fact, the night's 'activities' are what made the next morning and, indeed, the last two years so hard to get through.  
  
There was a real sense of euphoria when I gently woke up that morning. The first thing I was aware of was a warm glow from the sun creeping in through the curtains and over my body. Next, was the tentative line of kisses Jack was tracing from the small of my back, up my spine and to my neck. The effect was enough to send even the most chaste of women over the edge. He slowly rolled me onto my back and continued his journey to my lips. The first kiss he planted there was so light, I could barely feel it, apart from the flutter it sent to my stomach. I slowly opened my eyes and smiled up into his deep and oh-so seductive brown eyes, still hot with the desire of the pervious night. He smiled back at me.  
  
Before I could say anything, though, he claimed my lips once more. This time, more fervently. He really was waaaaay too good at doing that – sending me wild from not knowing what was coming next.  
  
He began to trail back down my neck again, leaving a tingling sensation under every touch. I let my eyes close again as a sense of pure rapture engulfed me.  
  
He carried on down my neck to my collarbone – the one place, he had learned last night, where I was unbearably ticklish. His tongue traced lightly across the slightly raised flesh just below my shoulder.  
  
I couldn't stand it! Every nerve he traced screamed in playful agony, while every other nerve in my body felt tortured for not being the centre of such attention.  
  
I let out a tiny shriek as I instinctively sat up straight.  
  
It still surprises me, when I think about what happened next, just how spry Jack was then for his age. In the movement of me sitting up, he managed (in a split second) to sit up with me, slide me onto his lap and, before I could even contemplate protesting, he had control of my lips again.  
  
We broke apart, at last, gasping slightly for air.  
  
"Morning," he said. His voice was low and husky, and with the close proximity out bodies were in at that moment, I felt the word reverberate through me.  
  
It wasn't long before our hungry lips were practically fused together again and we were off again for round two.  
  
Well, actually, it was more like round six, by now. But hey! Who was counting?!  
  
Either way, it was quite a wake up call.  
  
When I woke up for a second time, I was alone. There was a brief moment when I thought Jack had just slipped out to avoid the awkward conversation we had to have on the matter of last night. I was still heavily involved with Joe, after all.  
  
But he hadn't slipped out. Just downstairs. After noticing his shirt was still tangled on the floor with the rest of my clothes, I realised he hadn't left. That's when I heard several pans clashing together in the kitchen.  
  
Smiling contentedly to myself, I grabbed my bath robe and soon went down to see what all the commotion was about.  
  
As I opened the kitchen door, I was hit with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee, pancakes, maple syrup and bacon. Jack was busy tidying up the stack of pans he had disturbed, completely oblivious to my presence.  
  
I stood and watched him for a moment a he bustled around, cooking up goodness knows what for breakfast (it smelt good, though, I can tell you that!), dressed only in the jeans he had been wearing the night before. It really was quite a sight to Jack O'Neill – former CO and man of my dreams – showing off his domestic side (not to mention those muscles!).  
  
Quietly, I sat down, still not alerting him to my presence. Once I was settled on the nearest stool, I cleared my throat.  
  
Jack dropped all the pans again in the action of turning around to see me watching him. For a second, he looked like a deer could in headlights. Then his face split into one of his award-winning, patented disarming smiles that turn my knees to jelly (luckily I was already sat down and therefore not likely to fall over because of it).  
  
"Breakfast?" he said cheerily, indicating a stack of syrup drenched pancakes to my left.  
  
He seemed to dither for a moment while I tucked into the pancakes – some of the best I've ever tasted! I could tell he was itching to say something.  
  
"Look Sam," he said at last. "I think we need to talk about what happened last night."  
  
I wholly agreed and had some idea of what we could do, but I could see he wanted his say first, so I just nodded and carried on eating... God! Those things were delicious!  
  
"I love you, you know that right?" he said.  
  
I looked up at him. I hadn't been expecting him to start the conversation like that, that's for sure.  
  
"And you know I'd do anything for you," he continued.  
  
As perfect as this morning was turning out to be, I could tell that there was a down side to this declaration. There was something in his voice that told me what he was really trying to say would be something I didn't want to hear and he was just covering his back before he broke the bad news.  
  
He sat down in front of me and took hold of my hand in both of his. He thought for a moment, clearly debating over different ways to proceed.  
  
Finally, he picked his course of action.  
  
"Sam, I want you to come away with me," he said plainly. "We can just pack up right now and go. I don't want to spend another day without you."  
  
It seemed to simple. Just walk into work on Monday and tell them I was leaving. It wasn't like they couldn't cope without me.  
  
But I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it then and if he asked me again, I wouldn't do it now.  
  
I knew why he was asking this, you see. I knew he only wanted me to give up everything because of his ridiculous grudge against the Aschen. And even though I wasn't essential to the project, my work was still essential to me. It was – still is – who I am.  
  
My heart sank. I loved him, really did. But there are things that just can't be put on the line for something like that. Six years at the SGC taught me that.  
  
I placed my fork back on the plate, suddenly not eager to eat anything. My stomach was churning terribly, tying itself in knots of guilt and apprehension.  
  
"Jack, I can't," I said quietly, hoping he would let it go.  
  
"Why?" he demanded.  
  
"I have responsibilities here. My job. Friends. Joe."  
  
As soon as I mentioned his name, Jack jumped away from his seat and turned his back on me. I saw the muscles in his back and shoulders tighten as his fists clenched and he tried to hold back from punching through the wall. I knew I was breaking his heart by not going with him.  
  
"You still gonna stay with him?" he hissed at me, his malice and contempt for Joe showing clearly.  
  
I looked away from him. My stomach aching from the nerves working themselves frantic inside me.  
  
"Well, if nothing can continue between us, then yes. He's a good man, you know." It was a lame excuse, I knew, but it was the truth and I really cared for Joe. I wasn't about to break his heart so harshly. Unfortunately, that meant breaking Jack instead.  
  
"And last night?"  
  
I closed my eyes, as if that would somehow erase the conversation. I knew it wouldn't. And I knew I had to answer him.  
  
So what about last night? I honestly couldn't tell what it had meant then. It was as if half of my mind was treating it as a way to move on from my lingering obsession for him, whereas the other half of me saw it as the beginning of something amazing with the man I loved more than anything. I looked at Jack – who by now had turned to face me – his face showed a mixture of hurt and aggression (never a good combination). It didn't take long for me to realise that even though I loved him, as deeply as I did, we simply couldn't make it work. He had changed so much. Too much.  
  
"It was a one time deal," I said, only half believing it myself.  
  
For a second, Jack looked so broken that his knees could have given way at any minute.  
  
"A one time deal?!" he repeated, as if saying it again would change it's meaning. It didn't. "Why?"  
  
"Jack, just what sort of a future do you see us having?"  
  
"You, me, a cabin, lots of sex. What more do we need?!"  
  
I smiled briefly. I didn't sound too bad put that way.  
  
"And what about my work? All I've put into making the alliance a success?"  
  
"Screw the alliance! Screw the Aschen! And screw responsibilities! We've put our lives on the line enough times to get something back, don't you think?"  
  
It wasn't as simple as that. But he didn't see it like that anymore and there was just no getting through to him. At this point, I was beginning to realise this and it both saddened and infuriated me.  
  
"I just can't do that, Jack!" I shouted, hoping added volume would have the desired effect. "The whole point of responsibility is that you don't just give it up on a whim –"  
  
"A whim?!"  
  
I knew that wouldn't be a popular phrase. But I couldn't let him side tack me. I had to get this off my chest.  
  
"Yes! A whim!" I repeated forcefully, before picking up where I had left off. "You used to know what it meant to have obligations. Why else did we wait so long? It just seems that you've forgotten how to be the man you were and, frankly, that scares me."  
  
I stopped. Waiting for some sort of angry out-burst from him. Waiting for some sort of indication that he felt any sort of resentment to what I was saying. The old Jack would have shut me up in an instant. But this Jack had all of a sudden become closed off and not even I could enrage him. Or so I thought.  
  
"What's happened to you Jack?" I said crossing the room to him, placing my hand on his face, giving him some sort of connection with which to come back to me. "You used to trust people. Why can't you do that anymore?"  
  
For a moment, I thought I was getting through to the man I had fallen in love with. He turned to face me fully, his eyes suddenly alive with the passion that I knew him for. He took hold of my face in his warm, strong hands, his fingers gently weaving into my hairline. He leaned in so we were barely an inch apart. I felt his warm breath wash over em, sending yet another flutter to my stomach.  
  
"Why can't you wake up?" he whispered, shattering my disillusioned state of mind. "They're not who they seem."  
  
Anger began to rise in my veins once again.  
  
"They saved our lives, Jack," I whispered as he had.  
  
Without even a nano-second's pause, he let me go (and none too gently either). The force of his release sent me staggering backwards a few paces. My jaw ached but not enough to indicate the makings of a bruise.  
  
"Oh! Come on, Sam!" he ranted, throwing his hands up. I knew I was in for an earful.  
  
"No, Jack! You come on!" I said before I really knew what I was arguing. I only knew I couldn't let him rail at me about the Aschen anymore. "What's so wrong in believing them?! They didn't HAVE to help us, but they did. They didn't HAVE to bring Earth into their confederation, but they did! They've done nothing but good for us and YOU can't accept it!"  
  
All the time I was talking, he paced up and down my kitchen, like a caged tiger, shaking his head in what I can only assume was disgust.  
  
"Like you keep saying, it's not that simple." His tone was suddenly quieter and even more malicious, almost mocking. The look on his face turned my stomach. And not in a good way. It was a dreadful mixture of bitter anger and ironic humour. It took a while for me to answer his challenge.  
  
"That's where you're wrong," I said, matching his tone of voice. "This really is that simple..." I trailed off for a moment as what this fight as really about finally struck me.  
  
"Tell me, Jack. What have YOU been doing for the last four years?" It was my turn to sound mockingly malicious.  
  
Jack stopped pacing with his back to me. I knew he was listening by the way his shoulders once again tensed and he drew himself up to his full height.  
  
"I'll take that as a 'not much', then, yes?" I continued, coming to stand directly behind him. "And you can't stand that, right? You hate the fact that someone else was the hero and someone else got the girl! You're not just paranoid. You're trying to prove you can still win!" I was almost laughing at how pathetic it all sounded. But, to me, it was all true.  
  
"That's not it!" he protested, turning his head to look at me, but not turning fully.  
  
"Oh, really?!" I taunted further. "Why did you come to Hammond's funeral? Why come here hast night?"  
  
Once again, he was silent. But from my vantage point behind him, I could see his breathing quicken as, finally, anger began to boil inside of him. I had one more chance to break through to the passionate, life-loving Jack I used to know.  
  
"Face it, Jack. You're washed up and you can't control things anymore –"  
  
"NO!" He had snapped. He spun round wildly, lashing out at me. I fell to the ground at the force of his blow, the entire left side of my face throbbing from the impact his fist had made.  
  
I think it was shock more than fear that kept me down. The fact was, I was shaking like a leaf. When I finally did look round, it was to see him stood over me, his heart rate beating twice as fast as mine was (which was going some). His fists were still tightly clenched and for one horrific moment, I was sure he was going to lay into me again.  
  
But his face betrayed to me what he was really thinking. He was just as shocked and horrified as I was.  
  
"I – I'm sorry," he stuttered. "I didn't –"  
  
I put my hand up to stop him as I slowly go back to my feet. Once I was standing, I didn't say anything. I just stared at him, my eyes not showing any warmth of feeling towards him – at that point, there was none to show.  
  
"Please, Sam," he pleaded stepping forward.  
  
I knew he wasn't going to do anything, but I instinctively took a step back.  
  
"Sam."  
  
"Please, Colonel. Just go." He met my eyes sharply as I referred to his former rank. We hadn't been on those terms for a long time, but I grasped at them to keep myself from breaking down completely.  
  
He seemed to hesitate for a moment, undecided as to whether he should try to explain himself.  
  
Eventually, he left the kitchen, gathered together the rest of his clothes and left.  
  
As soon as I heard the front door slam behind him, it was if an emotional dam had burst inside me and all the pain and heart ache poured through the cold front I had shown him. I collapsed onto the floor once again, unable to support my own weight under the torrent of tears that was overwhelming me.  
  
I must have sat there for at least two hours before I came to my senses and realised I couldn't let him get to me like this – as always, easier said than done. Besides, I had things to do that day. I was meant to be meeting Janet for lunch and Joe was taking me out to dinner in the evening. I also had the wreckage of the previous night to clean up. As I went about setting my house straight again, I couldn't help but feel empty because of what greeted me. Everywhere – especially the bedroom – reminded me of him and the rampant emotions his memory evoked from me.  
  
By lunchtime, I was more than happy to get out of the house and into an area that didn't reek of his lingering, seductive presence.  
  
Janet was already at the restaurant when I arrived – the bruise over my left eye carefully covered with my sunglasses. I sat down awkwardly opposite her (several muscles still complaining from the stringent exercise they had received last night). She looked at me curiously as I made no attempt to remove my sunglasses. Luckily, we were seated outside and the sun was blazing overhead, so she didn't make too much of the point. But she had noticed something in my general countenance that puzzled her.  
  
"Have you ordered yet?" I asked, trying not to sound nervous.  
  
"No. Not yet. Something wrong?"  
  
It didn't surprise me that she got straight to the point. She was my best friend, for crying out loud. It was her job to be blunt with me. Who else could be?  
  
I sat nervously for a moment, thinking over the different ways I could tell her what had happened. In the end, I opted for a direct approach – much as she had done. I took a deep breath.  
  
"I slept with Jack!" It was one of the simplest, monosyllabic sentences I had put together in a long time, and yet it spoke volumes.  
  
Janet, on the other hand, didn't. She just stared harder at her menu.  
  
"JANET!" I shouted, slightly hurt that she wasn't immediately trying to console me or just saying ANYTHING to help!  
  
"I heard you," she chided, looking up from the menu. She didn't seem bothered at all. But why wasn't she?!  
  
"Well...?" I pushed further.  
  
"Well, what?"  
  
"WHAT DO I DO?"  
  
"I don't know!"  
  
I slumped back into my seat, feeling let down by her apathetic attitude to my crisis. Finally, she put down the menu and looked sympathetically to me.  
  
"When?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Last night," I replied, fighting back a sting of tears and the memory of the events.  
  
"But didn't Joe take you home?" It was also typical of her to bring Joe into the equation so quickly. She had always urged me to move things along with him. She said we made a great couple.  
  
"He left early on."  
  
"Have you told him?"  
  
I looked at Janet for a moment, half unsure if she had just asked that ridiculous question. She soon twigged.  
  
"Good point," she conceded.  
  
But it cast an interesting question into my mind. What if Joe ever did find out about me and Jack? He'd hit the roof! It was all I needed for my situation to steadily worsen the more I thought about it. Without thinking, I removed my sunglasses and tried to work some of the tension out of my temples.  
  
"What the hell happened to your eye?!" Janet demanded immediately.  
  
'Damn!' I thought. I was hoping to avoid discussing that side of the story.  
  
"I... erm..." I searched for a tangible excuse. "I walked into a cupboard door this morning."  
  
She saw straight through me. "A cupboard door also known as Jack?"  
  
I closed my eyes for shame, tears rolling down my bruised face. "He didn't mean to." I had no idea what made me defend him as I did.  
  
"Sam! –"  
  
"Janet! He didn't mean to. OK?"  
  
"Alright... but Joe IS going to notice something."  
  
"I know."  
  
"So what are you gonna do?" She was asking everything I had been asking my self all morning. And everything that I couldn't find the answers to.  
  
"I don't know." I said weakly, burying my head in my hands.  
  
Janet had clearly switched to comforting-best-friend mode as she continued asking all the right questions, like a text book guide to friends in crisis.  
  
"Have you talked to Jack about it?"  
  
"How d'you think I got this?" I pointed to the left side of my face – boasting in an impressive shade of purple.  
  
Janet nodded knowingly. "You didn't want things to carry on with him."  
  
"Not exactly." I filled her in on the rest of our conversation – omitting certain parts that would send her crazy with anger.  
  
"So he hit you?!" she stated, horrified at his actions.  
  
"Like I said. He didn't mean to. He was angry, we both were. He... he's a good man, Janet."  
  
She was still dubious though. "I know that," she said cautiously. "But is Joe and if he –"  
  
"He won't!" I cut her short again, not wanting a lecture on what Joe would do if he found out what happened.  
  
We lapsed into silence for a while, before Janet asked out of the blue; "So how was he?"  
  
I looked straight at her, my eyes wide. "I can't believe you just asked me that!" I protested.  
  
"Sam," she said, matter-of-factly. "You were in love with the man for at least ten years, now something actually happens between you! ... It had to be significant enough for you to be this worked up about him."  
  
"Yeah, but this is Colonel O'Neill we're talking about!" Yet again I was clinging to the old formalities to save face.  
  
"Sam, he's been 'Jack' to you for a long time now."  
  
I thought for a moment. There was no way left to avoid her question.  
  
"He was ... Well, it was like nothing mattered last night. I only wish that was still the case now."  
  
"Why did he hit you?" she asked, returning to text-book-mode.  
  
This had been one of the details I had omitted before. Not that it did me any good.  
  
"We were talking about what to we were supposed to do next and he said he wanted me to drop everything here and just go off with him. Then one thing led to another and somehow, I ended up saying something about how washed up he'd become, and he just snapped." I reeled off my story as fast as I could to get it over with; hoping the rest of the conversation would be over soon too.  
  
"So what's you're problem?" Janet asked. "If you already decided not to go with him, why get so worked up?"  
  
I looked sheepishly at her for a moment. "Part of me wants to go with him."  
  
"And what about Joe?"  
  
"That would be the problem! I just don't know?!"  
  
Janet closed her eyes and sighed despairingly for me.  
  
"Look," she said eventually. "There are two kinds of men in this world. The kind that hurt you and the kind that don't. And it doesn't take a genius to work out where Jack and Joe fir into those categories. And I don't know about you, bit I sure as hell don't want to see you hurt."  
  
I was grateful for her attempts to simplify things for me. But the fact remained that I was still passionately and painfully in love with JACK!  
  
"He wasn't always like this," I rationalised.  
  
"I know," Janet agreed. "But he's changed. He's not the man you fell in love with."  
  
"But that's just it! He is! ... Somehow. I still love him, Janet. There's a part of me that just can't breathe without him."  
  
She was beginning to see how lost and desperate I was feeling, but being the true friend that she is, she tried to break it down further for me.  
  
"Well then," she said heavily, "it's gonna come down to want."  
  
"What?" I queried.  
  
"What is it you want, Sam? And is that the same as what they want?"  
  
I thought through her logic. "It's not that easy, Janet."  
  
"No..." she agreed, "but it's a start at least."

###

I'm afraid to say that choosing Joe over Jack was only ever a start to moving on from him. Even if we hadn't shared that night together, I don't think I would truly have stopped loving him in any way, shape or form. That's what happens when you fixate on someone for that long. They become a part of who you are.  
  
It was about six months after Hammond's funeral when Joe asked me to move in with him. My bruise had long since faded (something I had managed to keep hidden from him with the careful use of make up). Not long after that, he proposed. It took me by surprised when he popped the question. I should have known it was coming – everyone else sis! But then, they were paying attention. I wasn't. I was still coming to terms with letting Jack go.  
  
When he asked me to marry him, I must have sat there at the restaurant for at least five minutes, just staring blankly at him before it even registered in my mind what he had said.  
  
Like he said at the time, it just sucks the romance right out of it when you have to ask twice in a space of ten minutes!  
  
That's what swayed me, though. The fact that he was willing to ask twice. It may have felt like settling for second best, but I didn't care. From that point on, I truly loved him and I haven't looked back since.  
  
Well, maybe once... at the wedding.  
  
Dad was leading me down the aisle to Joe and my chosen future. Something in my stomach wouldn't settle and hadn't done all morning. I had put it down to pre-wedding jitters.  
  
But walking down the aisle, something caught my attention to one side of the people gathered.  
  
It was Jack. Watching from the shadows. His face riddled with pain and regret. I promised myself there and then that if he spoke up at all, I would just go with him. Screw responsibility!  
  
I reached Joe in front of the minister and waited with baited breath. I could see Jack in my peripheral vision, hovering near one of the exits.  
  
"... and if any person here knows of any just impediment that these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, let them speak now."  
  
This was his chance! His last chance to sweep me off into the sunset. Isn't that how the fairy tail goes? The knight in shining armour bursting in, saving the damsel from her ordeal so they could live happily ever after.  
  
He stayed silent. Not long after, he slipped out, closing the door behind him.  
  
There was nothing left for the two of us now.

#####

Author's Note: OK, so that's chapter 6 over. Just want to say a quick sorry to Shona, but it had to be done! (Hope you get what I mean!). Anyway, there's only two more chapters left in this one! But before I get to them, I'll be finishing Grandfather Paradox, for those of you waiting for that. And for people who read and reviewed Weekend World, I afraid that one is staying as a stand alone short story. Sorry if that disappoints anyone, but I like it as it is. Anyway, please review this one now! Thanx. 


	7. Crossed Purposes

**STARGATE SG-1: Bed of Roses**

Summary: Jack finally does something about the Aschen, but Sam is there to stop him.

Pairing: Jack/Sam/Joe

Season: Future (about 2006)

Spoilers: 2010, 2001

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Stargate SG-1. Yadda, yadda, yadda...

Author's Note: I have no idea why I left this one hanging for so long, especially since there's only two chapters left to finish it! Anyway, I'm here with it now, so I hope people haven't gotten completely lost off from the plot. Please R&R as always. Thanx. Enjoy!

**Bed of Roses: Chapter 7 – Crossed Purposes**

Sam sat in her lab listening to Mollum prattle on about the latest project they were in the middle of. For once, she was completely lost as to what he was talking about. This was partly because she had missed a lot of the work due to her honeymoon. But other than that, she was finding it hard to keep up with the super advanced Science he was talking about.

She blinked, trying to stay focused, but her mind kept wandering – namely to her wedding day (and not for reasons people usually reminisce on such things).

She was thinking mainly about seeing Jack there and then seeing him disappear before she said her vows. Half of her had wanted him to stop the whole thing. God only knows why, considering what he had done to her. But it was Jack! The man she had loved for nearly a decade. And no matter what she felt for Joe, it was nothing compared to the destructive passion that she harboured for Jack.

"Security breach! All personnel to evacuate the building!" said a female voice over the tannoy, breaking Sam from her thoughts.

Sam blinked back to reality and to what was going on, before following the rest of the lab assistants out and down the corridor. As she made her way out, she was passed by several security officers heading towards the fabrication plants at the centre of the facility.

Without thinking, Sam broke away from her colleagues and followed the security team. She took short cuts that she knew so she could head them off. Something in her base instinct was telling her that she needed to beat them to the plant.

On her way, she passed the armoury – a room that few people knew the Aschen had installed in the building. She pulled out one of the hand guns and then carried on to the plant.

She cautiously entered the first room in the plant. On the other side of the room, he was stood with his back to her. He was fiddling on with one of the Anti-Aging Vaccine containers, completely oblivious to her presence.

She quickly hid her weapon before she approached him.

"What are you doing here?" she said suddenly.

Jack spun round in surprise at hearing her voice. He paused for a moment to take in the sight of her. "I'm trying to fix what everyone else is screwing up!" he said, turning back to the container.

Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You pathetic sonofabitch! After everything that's happened, you still can't let it go, can you?!"

"Sam," he said calmly, not looking round at her. "This is not the time to start on me, OK?"

"It never is with you, is it?!" she hissed. All of their past was flooding back to her – and it was mostly the bad parts that stuck in her mind.

Jack paused again. He sighed and turned to face her.

"Look," he said heavily. "I'm sorry about what happened with us, but..." he trailed off, unable to finish his own sentence. There was nothing he could say that would make up for what had happened.

Sam felt herself begin to soften in her attitude to him. "I'm not," she said quietly. "I mean, we could have handled the morning a bit better, but it's in the past now."

Jack smiled, appreciating her kind words. For a moment, they both forgot about the klaxons and flashing red lights around them, and the security team bearing down on their position.

"Why did you ever marry him?" Jack asked out of the blue.

Sam smiled. "Because he wasn't you... Why did you hit me?"

Jack closed his eyes, hit by a fresh bout of guilt for his actions. He understood why she had found solace in Joe. There was no way he would have hurt her like that. "I'm sorry," he said pitifully. He didn't expect her to forgive him. And part of him didn't even want her to.

"I know," she said reassuringly. Before she could elaborate, she heard footsteps from down the corridor. The security team.

"Look, you'd better get out of here," she said, fearing what they would do if they found him here.

Jack shook his head. "Not without finishing what I came for!" He turned back to what he had been doing when Sam arrived.

"Jack, they will kill you!"

"I don't care."

"Well I do!"

Jack turned back to her, his eye brows raised in irony.

"Why?" he said plainly. "You've got your dearly beloved ambassador. Your work. All those responsibilities you were so keen to cling to. Why should you care what happens to me?"

Sam was trying hard to bite back the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes as she heard him speak of her so coldly.

"Because I love you," she said, her voice straining slightly.

Jack took an involuntary step back at what she said. Of everything, he hadn't expected her to say that. Not with all that he had put her through.

"You could still leave, you know," he said hopefully. "Just chuck it all in and get away with me, right now."

"You know I can't," Sam said regretfully. She had been in this position with him before and wasn't going to change her answer. "Look, just go, OK," she added when he didn't move.

The footsteps were getting dangerously close.

"Sam please!"

She wasn't getting through to him at all. Automatically, she clung to the one thing that had always worked in the past.

"Colonel, I am giving you a chance to get out of here in one piece! Now go before I change my mind!"

He recoiled slightly hearing his former rank. But he didn't back down, no matter how close the security team was getting to them.

"On what?" he asked her. "Letting me go? Or coming with me?"

Sam reached for the hand gun; there was no other way to save his sorry ass.

"Go, or I swear to God, Jack. I'll kill you myself!" She had given up holding back the tears. It took too much effort. Effort that had long since drained out of her.

Jack didn't move a muscle.

"GO!"

He shook his head. "You're gonna have to shoot me, Sam," he said calmly.

Sam wavered for a moment, undecided on what action to take.

But she didn't have much time to think, either way. The security team had found them. About a dozen officers flooded into the room and surrounded them.

In a split second, though, Jack and Sam had understood how the rest of their encounter was to play out. In one swift movement, Jack had lunged forward and seized Sam's weapon – with little resistance on her part – and was now holding it to her head, using her as a human shield. The security team stopped in their tracks, not wanting to provoke him.

"Don't move or I'll shoot her!" Jack threatened, taking a step backwards towards the only exit that was left open to him.

"You should have gone when you had the chance!" Sam said quietly, so only he heard.

"And miss all this fun? You gotta be kidding me!" he replied.

"Drop your weapon, now!" one of the officers ordered.

Jack carried on backing up towards his retreat. He knew it would be a close call to make a run for it. He was going to have to rely on Sam to slow everyone else down. But she could only hold them for so long.

"There's a fire door about half way down the corridor that leads right out into the street. It should be busy enough out there for you to blend in," Sam whispered to him.

"Thank you," he said. "You know, Joe's lucky to have you."

Sam fought hard not to smile. It would have looked a little suspect if his hostage seemed to be on his side.

"This is your final warning!" the officer said, all the time closing in on them.

Jack was quickly running out of time and space for his get away. It was now or never.

"I love you," he finally whispered to Sam, kissing her briefly on the side of her neck.

He quickly shoved her forward, into the surrounding officers causing a good number of them to stumble over her. He fired three shots at those who were left standing and then used the chaos to disappear down the corridor and out onto the street.

He was about five blocks away when he realised no-one was chasing him anymore.

Back at the plant, Sam stood to her feet and looked around at the mess in the room. Two of the officers had been hit by the stray bullets, but neither injuries were fatal.

"Are you alright, ma'am?" the head officer asked, seeing her hands shaking from shock. She hadn't even noticed it herself. She was too busy worrying about whether he had got away or not.

"I'm fine," she lied. She didn't wait long before she got out of there, not wanting to be heavily involved in the clear up, just in case she let slip that she was helping him all along.

But she knew she wouldn't be hearing from Jack again. Not for a long while, at least.

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Author's Note: Again apologies for leaving that for so long. Only one chapter to go, though. Don't forget to review!


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